Yard Plotted to scale, promise

make it yourself

Plywood Tombstones

Four headstones at three heights, cut from one scrap and aged with gray paint and a kitchen sponge. About twenty eight dollars, and they survive weather that turns the foam ones from the store into mush.

  • $28 ish
  • 4 hrs start to finish
  • total beginner
  • 2' tall when done

grab this stuff

What you need

  • 1/2 in. exterior plywood, 2x4 ft scrap $12
  • Exterior gray paint, quart $9
  • 2× Black and white sample pots for aging $6
  • 1x2 furring for stakes $1
  • 10× 1-1/4 in. exterior screws you have these
  • All in $28

Tools, and that is it

  • Jigsaw
  • Drill
  • A kitchen sponge, torn in half
  • Sanding block

before the saw

How it comes off the sheet

Everything fits on 1/2 in. exterior plywood, 2 x 4 ft scrap. Draw the whole layout before you cut the first piece.

Tall 116" x 24"Tall 216" x 24"Mid 114" x 19"Short 112" x 5"48" wide24" tall
nesting

Three full stones plus a low broken one come off a single 2 x 4 scrap. Cut the arched tops freehand with the jigsaw, and let no two arches match.

shapes

Stencils

Print these, cut them out, draw around them. Anything bigger than a sheet of paper prints as large as it fits with the scale written on it, so you can enlarge it at a copy store or copy it square by square.

Round-top headstone, 24 in. 16" × 24"
Print the stencils (opens in a new tab)
printer gotcha

Set page scaling to 100 percent or "actual size", never "fit to page". Every sheet has a ruler on it. Measure it before you trust it.

Or buy a reusable one

Mylar stencils survive paint and last for years, which is worth it if you are making more than a couple. These are searches rather than specific listings, because the good sellers rotate.

here we go

How to make it

  1. Cut four stones

    Two at 24 in., one at 19 in., and one low broken stub about 5 in. tall with a jagged top. Round the tops differently on each. Give one or two of them the plinth off the stencil and leave the rest plain-footed, the way a real row of stones is half on bases and half sunk straight into the grass.

    oops-proofing

    Four identical arches look like a fence. The whole effect is that they were put there at different times by different people.

  2. Base coat gray

    Two coats of mid gray on every face and edge. Let it dry properly.

  3. Age them with a sponge

    Tear a sponge so the edge is ragged. Dab on black, mostly low down and into the corners, then almost dry-brush white across the top edges and the arch.

    oops-proofing

    Use almost no paint on the sponge. Load it up and you get a mottled cow pattern rather than weathering. Wipe most of it off on cardboard first.

  4. Letter them

    Black paint, stencil or freehand. Keep it to a name and two dates, and keep the letters big enough to read from the sidewalk.

  5. Stake and lean

    Screw a pointed furring stake to the back of each, running 12 in. past the bottom. Push them in leaning at slightly different angles, none of them straight.

    oops-proofing

    Push a stake into soft ground and the stone tips right over in the first rain. Angle the stake back into the soil rather than straight down.

one more thing

Set them in a loose cluster with the tall ones behind. A row along the front of the lawn reads as a fence, a cluster reads as a graveyard.

where it goes

Layouts this one lives in

Same build, any yard shape. Here is where it lands.

  • → The Old Cemetery on a Wide Shallow, No Porch Leaning stones, an iron fence with a gap in it, and candles along a path that nobody has swept in years. The one Halloween theme with nothing alive in it, which is what makes people slow down instead of laugh.
  • → The Old Cemetery on a Narrow Shallow with Porch Leaning stones, an iron fence with a gap in it, and candles along a path that nobody has swept in years. The one Halloween theme with nothing alive in it, which is what makes people slow down instead of laugh.
  • → The Old Cemetery on a L-Shaped with Projecting Garage Leaning stones, an iron fence with a gap in it, and candles along a path that nobody has swept in years. The one Halloween theme with nothing alive in it, which is what makes people slow down instead of laugh.
  • → The Old Cemetery on a Deep Narrow Leaning stones, an iron fence with a gap in it, and candles along a path that nobody has swept in years. The one Halloween theme with nothing alive in it, which is what makes people slow down instead of laugh.
  • → The Old Cemetery on a Corner Lot Leaning stones, an iron fence with a gap in it, and candles along a path that nobody has swept in years. The one Halloween theme with nothing alive in it, which is what makes people slow down instead of laugh.
  • → The Old Cemetery on a Split-Level or Raised Ranch Leaning stones, an iron fence with a gap in it, and candles along a path that nobody has swept in years. The one Halloween theme with nothing alive in it, which is what makes people slow down instead of laugh.
  • → The Old Cemetery on a Sloped or Terraced Leaning stones, an iron fence with a gap in it, and candles along a path that nobody has swept in years. The one Halloween theme with nothing alive in it, which is what makes people slow down instead of laugh.
  • → The Old Cemetery on a Small Urban Postage Stamp Leaning stones, an iron fence with a gap in it, and candles along a path that nobody has swept in years. The one Halloween theme with nothing alive in it, which is what makes people slow down instead of laugh.
  • → The Old Cemetery on a Circular Driveway Leaning stones, an iron fence with a gap in it, and candles along a path that nobody has swept in years. The one Halloween theme with nothing alive in it, which is what makes people slow down instead of laugh.
  • → The Old Cemetery on a Long Driveway, Rural Frontage Leaning stones, an iron fence with a gap in it, and candles along a path that nobody has swept in years. The one Halloween theme with nothing alive in it, which is what makes people slow down instead of laugh.
  • → Zombies on a Wide Shallow, No Porch The lawn is coming apart and things are getting out of it. Headstones, hands, and half-figures pushing up through the grass, arranged so the whole yard looks like one bad night rather than a store display.
  • → Zombies on a Narrow Shallow with Porch The lawn is coming apart and things are getting out of it. Headstones, hands, and half-figures pushing up through the grass, arranged so the whole yard looks like one bad night rather than a store display.
  • → Zombies on a L-Shaped with Projecting Garage The lawn is coming apart and things are getting out of it. Headstones, hands, and half-figures pushing up through the grass, arranged so the whole yard looks like one bad night rather than a store display.
  • → Zombies on a Deep Narrow The lawn is coming apart and things are getting out of it. Headstones, hands, and half-figures pushing up through the grass, arranged so the whole yard looks like one bad night rather than a store display.
  • → Zombies on a Corner Lot The lawn is coming apart and things are getting out of it. Headstones, hands, and half-figures pushing up through the grass, arranged so the whole yard looks like one bad night rather than a store display.
  • → Zombies on a Split-Level or Raised Ranch The lawn is coming apart and things are getting out of it. Headstones, hands, and half-figures pushing up through the grass, arranged so the whole yard looks like one bad night rather than a store display.
  • → Zombies on a Sloped or Terraced The lawn is coming apart and things are getting out of it. Headstones, hands, and half-figures pushing up through the grass, arranged so the whole yard looks like one bad night rather than a store display.
  • → Zombies on a Small Urban Postage Stamp The lawn is coming apart and things are getting out of it. Headstones, hands, and half-figures pushing up through the grass, arranged so the whole yard looks like one bad night rather than a store display.
  • → Zombies on a Circular Driveway The lawn is coming apart and things are getting out of it. Headstones, hands, and half-figures pushing up through the grass, arranged so the whole yard looks like one bad night rather than a store display.
  • → Zombies on a Long Driveway, Rural Frontage The lawn is coming apart and things are getting out of it. Headstones, hands, and half-figures pushing up through the grass, arranged so the whole yard looks like one bad night rather than a store display.