Yard Plotted to scale, promise

make it yourself

Floating Abduction UFO

A saucer hanging in the air with a solid cone of green light coming out of the bottom of it, and something small caught halfway up. Two plastic saucer sleds, a hula hoop and six yards of tulle, hung off a branch so the rope disappears after dark.

  • $86 ish
  • 5 hrs start to finish
  • confident beginner
  • 6' tall when done

grab this stuff

What you need

  • 2× Round plastic saucer sled, 26 in. $28
  • White tulle or netting, 6 yards $16
  • Hula hoop, 34 in. $6
  • Green LED puck lights, battery, 3 pack $16
  • Silver or gray spray paint for plastic $8
  • Braided rope, a swivel snap hook, bolts and washers $12
  • All in $86

Tools, and that is it

  • Drill
  • Scissors
  • Staple gun or a needle and thread
  • A ladder, and somebody to hold it

here we go

How to make it

  1. Bolt the two sleds rim to rim

    The round plastic saucer sled, the kind kids take down a hill. Two of them face to face give you a saucer with a lip already round the edge, which is the shape you would otherwise spend a weekend trying to build. Drill through both rims in six places evenly round, bolt them with a washer either side, and drill three more holes in the top for the hanging ropes.

    oops-proofing

    Put the washers on. A bolt pulled straight through thin plastic is the whole thing on the grass, and it will happen on the windiest night rather than a calm one.

  2. Cut a hole in the underside and paint it

    Cut a 12 in. hole in the center of the lower saucer for the light to come out of. Then paint the whole thing silver or gray, outside and in. Plastic wants a paint that says it is for plastic, or it will peel off in sheets by November.

    oops-proofing

    Paint the inside of the hole and about a hand's width around it as well. Bare colored plastic catches the light from below and gives away exactly what the saucer is made of.

  3. Make the beam a cone, not a bag

    Cut the tulle into a wide arc so it forms a cone about 5 ft deep, narrow at the top and wide at the bottom. Staple or stitch the top edge round the 12 in. hole. Then sew or zip-tie the bottom edge to the hula hoop.

    oops-proofing

    The hoop is the entire trick and it is the step people skip. Without it the fabric hangs straight down in a limp tube and reads as a trash bag. With it the cone holds its shape, catches the light through its whole depth, and looks like a solid beam from the sidewalk.

  4. Light it from inside, pointing down

    Stick the green puck lights inside the upper saucer, aimed down through the hole. Battery ones on purpose: there is no cord running down the tree, which is half of why it looks like it is floating.

    oops-proofing

    Do not light the cone from outside with a spotlight. A beam lit from the side is a piece of fabric; a beam lit from the top glows all the way down and you cannot see what is doing it.

  5. Hang it off a branch, and use a swivel

    Run rope over a branch and down to the three holes in the top. Put a swivel snap hook between the rope and the saucer. Hang the bottom of the cone about 18 in. clear of the grass.

    oops-proofing

    The swivel is not optional. A cone hanging on a fixed rope winds itself up in an afternoon of wind and then unwinds the other way, and by the third day the rope is a spring and something has torn. Fishing line for the last few feet looks like magic, but it takes none of the weight: rope carries it, line only hides it.

  6. Put something in the beam

    A garden gnome, a plastic flamingo, a rubber boot. Hang it from fishing line inside the cone about two thirds of the way up, so it is halfway to the saucer rather than sitting on the grass.

    oops-proofing

    One object, and something ordinary. The joke is that the thing being taken is boring, and it stops working the moment there are three of them or the object is itself spooky.

one more thing

Buy the sleds online rather than looking for them in a store in October. They are a winter line and the shelves do not carry them until November, a month after you need them, but they ship all year. Needs a branch, a porch beam or a sturdy overhang, and about 8 ft of clear air under it. Not over the walk: things hanging above where people put their feet is how a fun evening ends badly, and the beam wants to be seen side on anyway. A 34 in. fabric cone is a sail. Take it down before a storm rather than after one, and expect to re-tie the rope once during the month. It comes apart into a saucer, a cone and a bag of hardware, so it stores in a corner of the garage and goes back up in half an hour next year.

where it goes

Layouts this one lives in

Same build, any yard shape. Here is where it lands.

  • → Alien Invasion on a Wide Shallow, No Porch Something landed on the lawn and it is still here. A saucer low over the grass, a beam of green light, and small gray visitors standing very still in places they should not be.
  • → Alien Invasion on a Narrow Shallow with Porch Something landed on the lawn and it is still here. A saucer low over the grass, a beam of green light, and small gray visitors standing very still in places they should not be.
  • → Alien Invasion on a L-Shaped with Projecting Garage Something landed on the lawn and it is still here. A saucer low over the grass, a beam of green light, and small gray visitors standing very still in places they should not be.
  • → Alien Invasion on a Deep Narrow Something landed on the lawn and it is still here. A saucer low over the grass, a beam of green light, and small gray visitors standing very still in places they should not be.
  • → Alien Invasion on a Corner Lot Something landed on the lawn and it is still here. A saucer low over the grass, a beam of green light, and small gray visitors standing very still in places they should not be.
  • → Alien Invasion on a Split-Level or Raised Ranch Something landed on the lawn and it is still here. A saucer low over the grass, a beam of green light, and small gray visitors standing very still in places they should not be.
  • → Alien Invasion on a Sloped or Terraced Something landed on the lawn and it is still here. A saucer low over the grass, a beam of green light, and small gray visitors standing very still in places they should not be.
  • → Alien Invasion on a Small Urban Postage Stamp Something landed on the lawn and it is still here. A saucer low over the grass, a beam of green light, and small gray visitors standing very still in places they should not be.
  • → Alien Invasion on a Circular Driveway Something landed on the lawn and it is still here. A saucer low over the grass, a beam of green light, and small gray visitors standing very still in places they should not be.
  • → Alien Invasion on a Long Driveway, Rural Frontage Something landed on the lawn and it is still here. A saucer low over the grass, a beam of green light, and small gray visitors standing very still in places they should not be.