Spiders, Spiders, Spiders layout for a Narrow Shallow with Porch

Photorealistic evening photograph of a one-and-a-half story craftsman bungalow house on a narrow shallow with porch, 40 ft of street frontage with a 15 ft front setback, photographed from the public sidewalk straight up the front walk, so the covered porch and the full width of the small front yard fill the frame, camera height 5.5 ft. The yard is decorated in a spiders, spiders, spiders theme. One enormous spider and then a great many smaller ones, with webbing strung between everything that will hold it. The cheapest Halloween theme to scale up, because webbing costs almost nothing and covers an entire yard. Decorations, in position: 1. The star: a huge black spider crouched on the lawn with eight bent legs spanning six feet, a fat glossy body and two red glowing eyes, 3.5 ft tall. On the lawn to the left of the walk, halfway between the sidewalk and the porch steps, not straddling the path itself. The left side is the bigger piece of lawn here: the driveway eats the right one. Nine feet is the ceiling. Anything taller and people have to crane their necks back to take it in from the sidewalk, which is only 15 ft away. 2. Sidekick, left: two big hairy spiders, one green and one purple, legs lit along their length and red eyes, posed mid stride across the grass, 1.3 ft tall. Tight to the left edge of the walk, about a foot off the concrete. You do not have the room to spread these out, so keep the pair close and let them frame the steps. 3. Sidekick, right: six black hairy spiders at three sizes with red eyes, legs bent to grip a rail and a step, the biggest as wide as a dinner plate. Do not put these on the lawn. The legs bend, so they belong on things people pass within a foot of: the rail, the step edge, the mailbox, the door frame, the underside of the porch light. Three sizes in the box, so graduate them, biggest nearest the door and smallest furthest out, as though they came from somewhere. Never space them evenly and never in a line. Two together and one apart reads as infestation; six at equal intervals reads as bunting. They are flocked fabric on wire, so they will take a shower and will not take six weeks of rain. Bring them in after Halloween or write them off as a $16 annual. 4. Path and porch edge lights: a line of short stakes throwing cold purple light up the edges of a walkway, no cords between them, 1.3 ft tall. Both sides of the short walk, then carry the line along the front of the porch. On a yard this size the lighting is doing most of the work. 5. Porch and roofline: a dense run of small orange bulbs following a roofline, warm and slightly sickly rather than festive, 0.2 ft tall. Outline the porch roof first, then the main roofline above it. Two stacked lines of light is the entire trick on a shallow yard. 6. Under the porch roof: thin white web stretched across a porch corner and along a rail, pulled until it is almost transparent, small black spiders caught in it. STRETCH IT FURTHER THAN FEELS RIGHT. The single thing that separates a good web from a bag of cotton wool on a rail is how thin it is pulled: keep going until it is almost transparent and you can see the porch through it. A dense white clump reads as packaging. Anchor it at three or four points and let it sag between them rather than lining the wall with it. Corners, the underside of the roof, across the top of the doorway, between a post and the rail. Real webs span gaps; they do not wallpaper. There are 150 small spiders in the bag, so put a few IN the web rather than all of them on the floor. One bag covers a porch several times over, so use the rest on the shrubs. Shot at dusk with the sky still faintly blue, every lit decoration switched on and brighter than anything else in the frame, warm light spilling onto the lawn. Palette: #1C1A22, #6B2D5B, #E8E4DC, #B03030. Nothing floats; every piece sits on the ground at the stated distance. Scale reference: the front door is 80 inches tall.