Spiders, Spiders, Spiders layout for a Split-Level or Raised Ranch

Photorealistic evening photograph of a raised ranch with a half-story entry landing house on a split-level or raised ranch, 58 ft of street frontage with a 24 ft front setback, photographed from the street looking at the front of the house, showing the raised half-story entry, the run of steps up to the door and the lower wall beneath, camera height 5.5 ft. The yard is decorated in a spiders, spiders, spiders theme. One enormous spider and then a great many smaller ones, with webbing strung between everything that will hold it. The cheapest Halloween theme to scale up, because webbing costs almost nothing and covers an entire yard. Decorations, in position: 1. The star: a huge black spider crouched on the lawn with eight bent legs spanning six feet, a fat glossy body and two red glowing eyes, 3.5 ft tall. On the lawn at the bottom of the steps, off to the side of the walk. Ground level, not up on the landing. The landing is small and a big piece up there blocks your own front door. This one works just as well mirrored to the other side of the walk, so if a tree, a slope or the way you come and go says the far side is better, swap it and swap its partner with it. What matters is that it is beside the path and not standing in it. 2. Sidekick, left: two big hairy spiders, one green and one purple, legs lit along their length and red eyes, posed mid stride across the grass, 1.3 ft tall. Left of the steps at ground level, close to the first riser. 3. Sidekick, right: six black hairy spiders at three sizes with red eyes, legs bent to grip a rail and a step, the biggest as wide as a dinner plate. Do not put these on the lawn. The legs bend, so they belong on things people pass within a foot of: the rail, the step edge, the mailbox, the door frame, the underside of the porch light. Three sizes in the box, so graduate them, biggest nearest the door and smallest furthest out, as though they came from somewhere. Never space them evenly and never in a line. Two together and one apart reads as infestation; six at equal intervals reads as bunting. They are flocked fabric on wire, so they will take a shower and will not take six weeks of rain. Bring them in after Halloween or write them off as a $16 annual. 4. Walk and stair rail lights: 2 of them, a line of short stakes throwing cold purple light up the edges of a walkway, no cords between them, 1.3 ft tall. Up both sides of the walk, then wrap the stair railing. Lighting the rail is the one move that makes a raised entry look intentional instead of steep. 5. Roofline: 2 of them, a dense run of small orange bulbs following a roofline, warm and slightly sickly rather than festive, 0.2 ft tall. Full gutter run. On this shape the roofline is genuinely high off the ground because the whole house starts half a story up, so borrow a taller ladder than you think you need. 6. Under the porch roof: thin white web stretched across a porch corner and along a rail, pulled until it is almost transparent, small black spiders caught in it. STRETCH IT FURTHER THAN FEELS RIGHT. The single thing that separates a good web from a bag of cotton wool on a rail is how thin it is pulled: keep going until it is almost transparent and you can see the porch through it. A dense white clump reads as packaging. Anchor it at three or four points and let it sag between them rather than lining the wall with it. Corners, the underside of the roof, across the top of the doorway, between a post and the rail. Real webs span gaps; they do not wallpaper. There are 150 small spiders in the bag, so put a few IN the web rather than all of them on the floor. One bag covers a porch several times over, so use the rest on the shrubs. Shot at dusk with the sky still faintly blue, every lit decoration switched on and brighter than anything else in the frame, warm light spilling onto the lawn. Palette: #1C1A22, #6B2D5B, #E8E4DC, #B03030. Nothing floats; every piece sits on the ground at the stated distance. Scale reference: the front door is 80 inches tall.