Yard Plotted to scale, promise

Toxic Waste · Narrow Shallow with Porch

Toxic Waste layout for a Narrow Shallow with Porch

Something leaked. Drums on their side with green light coming out of the split, tape across the walk, and whatever came out of them still moving. The one theme that scares people without a single ghost in it.

your narrow shallow with porch, 40′ × 26′ 6 of 9 spots filled
To-scale site plan for a Narrow Shallow with PorchA to-scale overhead site plan of a narrow shallow with porch, 40 feet of street frontage by 45 feet deep, with the house set back 15 feet from the front sidewalk. The street runs along the top of the drawing. 6 of 9 marked positions are filled. Filled: the star; sidekick, left; sidekick, right; path and porch edge lights; porch and roofline; under the porch roof. Left empty: along the eaves, porch posts and rail, the front door. STREETDRIVEHOUSE40'Amax 9'Bmax 6.5'Cmax 6.5'DEPmax 8'TRWmax 6.7'

Drawn to scale. Everything is measured in feet from the front sidewalk, and your front door is 80″ tall if you need something to check against.

this theme on this shape

Toxic Waste fills 5 of this shape's 9 marked spots for free, and all of them once every budget is unlocked.

One of the pieces here is rated by its maker for covered use only, and this shape has a spot under a roof to put it, which is why it can be in the plan at all.

The one nice thing version comes in at $190.95 against a $500 ceiling on this shape, which leaves real room for a second run of lights or a better centrepiece.

first, the deal with your yard

Read this before you buy anything

There is no room to back up, so everything gets seen from about 20 ft away and the porch is doing the heavy lifting. That is good news. A covered porch gives you a lit frame at eye level that a flat lawn can never match, and it keeps everything under it dry. The catch is scale. A piece that looks reasonable in a big-box aisle will swallow a 15 ft setback whole, and the neighbors are close enough that anything blinking is now their problem too.

Who's looking, and from where

  • Straight up the walk from the sidewalk, which is most of it
  • The oblique from a few houses down
  • Out a car window at 25 mph

The classic mistake

Buying one giant inflatable that fills the entire yard and blocks the porch. The porch is your best feature. Do not park something in front of it.

Check this one thing

Check whether your sidewalk strip is actually city property before you stake anything into it. On older narrow lots the public right of way often runs a few feet further into what looks like your lawn.

same yard, four budgets

Pick your number

Every version below was worked out against the map up there, and nothing gets a spot unless it physically fits. Footprint and height both. The Do it yourself version is free and complete, so you can go do that today. The other three are the paid guide.

Every price below was checked on or after 27 September 2026, and each item carries its own date. Holiday pricing moves weekly.

Do it yourself Free

stays under $250
$146.96 $103.04 to spare

One weekend, a sheet of plywood and some string lights. Costs almost nothing and still stops traffic.

The Do it yourself plan: every piece, its spot on the drawing, how big it is, how many and what it costs.
Spot What to get How big How many Cost
A Leaking Barrels Build it
The star. Set them down at different angles, not squared up to the house. Nothing about a spill is tidy, and three drums lined up parallel to the kerb reads as a delivery rather than an accident. Turn the split drum so the glow faces the sidewalk, and run barrier tape from the drums out to a stake so they read as a cordon rather than as three objects.
2' 6" H 1 $78
B Barrier Tape, 2 rolls, 164 ft each (opens in a new tab) Amazon 2 pieces
Sidekick, left. Two rolls in the box and they are different, red DO NOT ENTER and black CAUTION. Use both and mix them: two authorities having been here reads as a real incident, one tape reads as a party. Wind it round a post, run it between two stakes at an angle across the lawn, and take one line diagonally across the walk at about waist height where people will duck under it. Sagging is right. Tape pulled taut looks like a fence; tape that droops looks like it was put up in a hurry. There are 300 spare feet in the box, so be generous.
2" H 1 $3.99
C Black Creepy Cloth, 4 pieces, 6 ft each (opens in a new tab) Amazon 4 pieces
Sidekick, right. Hang it in long vertical strips rather than swagging it: this is meant to look like sheeting that was hung to contain something and then left, not like bunting. Four pieces at 6 ft each, so it will do a fence run or a porch opening but not both. Cloth is a sail, so tie the bottom corners to something or it wraps itself round whatever is upwind by the second night.
2' 6" H 1 $12.99
D Green Solar Path Stakes, 10 pack (opens in a new tab) Amazon 10 pieces
Path and porch edge lights. Both sides of the short walk, then carry the line along the front of the porch. On a yard this size the lighting is doing most of the work.
1' 3" H 1 $25.99
E Orange Incandescent Mini Lights, 300 count (opens in a new tab) Amazon 300 pieces
Porch and roofline. Outline the porch roof first, then the main roofline above it. Two stacked lines of light is the entire trick on a shallow yard.
2" H 1 $25.99
the plug situation

1 thing needs an outlet, about 1.1 amps all together. That all fits on one 15 amp circuit, you are fine. Outdoor GFCI outlets only, and leave a drip loop in the cord at every plug so rain runs off instead of in.

You will also need

The cord is the part everybody forgets, and stores run out of them at the peak of every season. Outdoor rated only, and plugged into a GFCI outlet.

About $71.92 of hardware, on top of the $146.96 of decorations. Buy it once and it comes back out every year.

Image prompt for this exact list
Photorealistic evening photograph of a one-and-a-half story craftsman bungalow house on a narrow shallow with porch, 40 ft of street frontage with a 15 ft front setback, photographed from the public sidewalk straight up the front walk, so the covered porch and the full width of the small front yard fill the frame, camera height 5.5 ft. The yard is decorated in a toxic waste theme. Something leaked. Drums on their side with green light coming out of the split, tape across the walk, and whatever came out of them still moving. The one theme that scares people without a single ghost in it. Decorations, in position: 1. The star: three battered yellow drums on a lawn at night, two standing at different angles and one on its side, each banded with two dark hoops, green light spilling from a split in one of them and pooling on the grass, 2.5 ft tall. Set them down at different angles, not squared up to the house. Nothing about a spill is tidy, and three drums lined up parallel to the kerb reads as a delivery rather than an accident. Turn the split drum so the glow faces the sidewalk, and run barrier tape from the drums out to a stake so they read as a cordon rather than as three objects. 2. Sidekick, left: yellow and black barrier tape wound round a porch post and strung across the steps at an angle, 0.2 ft tall. Two rolls in the box and they are different, red DO NOT ENTER and black CAUTION. Use both and mix them: two authorities having been here reads as a real incident, one tape reads as a party. Wind it round a post, run it between two stakes at an angle across the lawn, and take one line diagonally across the walk at about waist height where people will duck under it. Sagging is right. Tape pulled taut looks like a fence; tape that droops looks like it was put up in a hurry. There are 300 spare feet in the box, so be generous. 3. Sidekick, right: torn gray gauze hanging in uneven lengths from a gutter line, moving in the wind, 2.5 ft tall. Hang it in long vertical strips rather than swagging it: this is meant to look like sheeting that was hung to contain something and then left, not like bunting. Four pieces at 6 ft each, so it will do a fence run or a porch opening but not both. Cloth is a sail, so tie the bottom corners to something or it wraps itself round whatever is upwind by the second night. 4. Path and porch edge lights: a line of short stakes throwing sickly green light up the edges of a path, the color of something radioactive rather than something growing, 1.3 ft tall. Both sides of the short walk, then carry the line along the front of the porch. On a yard this size the lighting is doing most of the work. 5. Porch and roofline: a dense run of small orange bulbs following a roofline, warm and slightly sickly rather than festive, 0.2 ft tall. Outline the porch roof first, then the main roofline above it. Two stacked lines of light is the entire trick on a shallow yard. Shot at dusk with the sky still faintly blue, every lit decoration switched on and brighter than anything else in the frame, warm light spilling onto the lawn. Palette: #8CC63F, #E8C51A, #26261F, #7A4A32. Nothing floats; every piece sits on the ground at the stated distance. Scale reference: the front door is 80 inches tall.

see it first

The other two prompts

Each budget above has its own prompt for the finished yard, because each one is a different list of things. These two do not change between budgets: one for the empty yard so you have a before picture, and the negative prompt that stops every image model on earth from burying your lawn in snow you did not ask for.

the free ones keep coming

New plans go up through the season

The Do it yourself version above is free and complete, and every theme that goes up gets one, drawn for all ten yard shapes. That is 10 free plans per theme, and the list grows through the season.

One email when there is something new. Nothing else, ever.