Yard Plotted to scale, promise

Toxic Waste · Small Urban Postage Stamp

Toxic Waste layout for a Small Urban Postage Stamp

Something leaked. Drums on their side with green light coming out of the split, tape across the walk, and whatever came out of them still moving. The one theme that scares people without a single ghost in it.

your small urban postage stamp, 26′ × 26′ 5 of 8 spots filled
To-scale site plan for a Small Urban Postage StampA to-scale overhead site plan of a small urban postage stamp, 26 feet of street frontage by 40 feet deep, with the house set back 12 feet from the front sidewalk. The street runs along the top of the drawing. 5 of 8 marked positions are filled. Filled: the star, the stoop side, fence and path lights, doorway and facade, under the porch roof. Left empty: along the eaves, porch posts and rail, the front door. STREETHOUSE4 STEPS26'Amax 7'Bmax 6.5'CDPmax 8'TRWmax 6.7'

Drawn to scale. Everything is measured in feet from the front sidewalk, and your front door is 80″ tall if you need something to check against.

this theme on this shape

Toxic Waste fills 4 of this shape's 8 marked spots for free, and all of them once every budget is unlocked.

One of the pieces here is rated by its maker for covered use only, and this shape has a spot under a roof to put it, which is why it can be in the plan at all.

The one nice thing version comes in at $177.96 against a $500 ceiling on this shape, which leaves real room for a second run of lights or a better centrepiece.

first, the deal with your yard

Read this before you buy anything

You have about twelve feet, a fence, and a stoop. Everything is seen from four feet away by people on foot, which changes the rules completely. Finish quality matters more than size, because nobody is squinting at this from a car. Buy one nice thing instead of four cheap ones. The fence is the secret weapon: it is a ready-made line at exactly the right height, and lighting it makes the whole frontage look deliberate for about thirty dollars.

Who's looking, and from where

  • Four feet away, over the fence, on foot
  • Down the sidewalk in a row of other houses
  • From the stoop looking out, which is where you will actually be

The classic mistake

Buying at the same scale as a suburban yard. A 9 ft inflatable in a 12 ft setback is not festive, it is a wall.

Check this one thing

Keep the public sidewalk completely clear, including guy lines and cords. In most cities that strip is not yours, and a tripping hazard on it is your liability. Check whether your building has rules about the front elevation too.

same yard, four budgets

Pick your number

Every version below was worked out against the map up there, and nothing gets a spot unless it physically fits. Footprint and height both. The Do it yourself version is free and complete, so you can go do that today. The other three are the paid guide.

Every price below was checked on or after 27 September 2026, and each item carries its own date. Holiday pricing moves weekly.

Do it yourself Free

stays under $250
$133.97 $116.03 to spare

One weekend, a sheet of plywood and some string lights. Costs almost nothing and still stops traffic.

The Do it yourself plan: every piece, its spot on the drawing, how big it is, how many and what it costs.
Spot What to get How big How many Cost
A Leaking Barrels Build it
The star. Set them down at different angles, not squared up to the house. Nothing about a spill is tidy, and three drums lined up parallel to the kerb reads as a delivery rather than an accident. Turn the split drum so the glow faces the sidewalk, and run barrier tape from the drums out to a stake so they read as a cordon rather than as three objects.
2' 6" H 1 $78
B Barrier Tape, 2 rolls, 164 ft each (opens in a new tab) Amazon 2 pieces
The stoop side. Two rolls in the box and they are different, red DO NOT ENTER and black CAUTION. Use both and mix them: two authorities having been here reads as a real incident, one tape reads as a party. Wind it round a post, run it between two stakes at an angle across the lawn, and take one line diagonally across the walk at about waist height where people will duck under it. Sagging is right. Tape pulled taut looks like a fence; tape that droops looks like it was put up in a hurry. There are 300 spare feet in the box, so be generous.
2" H 1 $3.99
C Green Solar Path Stakes, 10 pack (opens in a new tab) Amazon 10 pieces
Fence and path lights. Along the top of the front fence and up the short path. The fence line is the longest straight run you own. Use it.
1' 3" H 1 $25.99
D Orange Incandescent Mini Lights, 300 count (opens in a new tab) Amazon 300 pieces
Doorway and facade. Frame the door and windows rather than chasing a roofline you cannot safely reach. On a narrow facade, outlining the openings does more than a gutter run would anyway.
2" H 1 $25.99
the plug situation

1 thing needs an outlet, about 1.1 amps all together. That all fits on one 15 amp circuit, you are fine. Outdoor GFCI outlets only, and leave a drip loop in the cord at every plug so rain runs off instead of in.

You will also need

The cord is the part everybody forgets, and stores run out of them at the peak of every season. Outdoor rated only, and plugged into a GFCI outlet.

About $31.96 of hardware, on top of the $133.97 of decorations. Buy it once and it comes back out every year.

Image prompt for this exact list
Photorealistic evening photograph of a narrow two-story urban row house with a raised stoop house on a small urban postage stamp, 26 ft of street frontage with a 12 ft front setback, photographed from the public sidewalk immediately outside the front fence, close in, showing the small fenced yard and the stoop, camera height 5.5 ft. The yard is decorated in a toxic waste theme. Something leaked. Drums on their side with green light coming out of the split, tape across the walk, and whatever came out of them still moving. The one theme that scares people without a single ghost in it. Decorations, in position: 1. The star: three battered yellow drums on a lawn at night, two standing at different angles and one on its side, each banded with two dark hoops, green light spilling from a split in one of them and pooling on the grass, 2.5 ft tall. Set them down at different angles, not squared up to the house. Nothing about a spill is tidy, and three drums lined up parallel to the kerb reads as a delivery rather than an accident. Turn the split drum so the glow faces the sidewalk, and run barrier tape from the drums out to a stake so they read as a cordon rather than as three objects. 2. The stoop side: yellow and black barrier tape wound round a porch post and strung across the steps at an angle, 0.2 ft tall. Two rolls in the box and they are different, red DO NOT ENTER and black CAUTION. Use both and mix them: two authorities having been here reads as a real incident, one tape reads as a party. Wind it round a post, run it between two stakes at an angle across the lawn, and take one line diagonally across the walk at about waist height where people will duck under it. Sagging is right. Tape pulled taut looks like a fence; tape that droops looks like it was put up in a hurry. There are 300 spare feet in the box, so be generous. 3. Fence and path lights: a line of short stakes throwing sickly green light up the edges of a path, the color of something radioactive rather than something growing, 1.3 ft tall. Along the top of the front fence and up the short path. The fence line is the longest straight run you own. Use it. 4. Doorway and facade: a dense run of small orange bulbs following a roofline, warm and slightly sickly rather than festive, 0.2 ft tall. Frame the door and windows rather than chasing a roofline you cannot safely reach. On a narrow facade, outlining the openings does more than a gutter run would anyway. Shot at dusk with the sky still faintly blue, every lit decoration switched on and brighter than anything else in the frame, warm light spilling onto the lawn. Palette: #8CC63F, #E8C51A, #26261F, #7A4A32. Nothing floats; every piece sits on the ground at the stated distance. Scale reference: the front door is 80 inches tall.

see it first

The other two prompts

Each budget above has its own prompt for the finished yard, because each one is a different list of things. These two do not change between budgets: one for the empty yard so you have a before picture, and the negative prompt that stops every image model on earth from burying your lawn in snow you did not ask for.

the free ones keep coming

New plans go up through the season

The Do it yourself version above is free and complete, and every theme that goes up gets one, drawn for all ten yard shapes. That is 10 free plans per theme, and the list grows through the season.

One email when there is something new. Nothing else, ever.